


"Dear Perry, We Are Pleased to Inform You That Your Arch-Nemesis..."

by RosaClearwater



Series: Facetious Fusions [30]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 22:19:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14294682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosaClearwater/pseuds/RosaClearwater
Summary: When he busts into the place, it's quiet. Peaceful, even.Frankly, it's that peace that brings the goosebumps because Doof doesn't do “peace”.But, apparently, he does sit by his computer with an anticipatory and somewhat apprehensive smile glued to his face.





	"Dear Perry, We Are Pleased to Inform You That Your Arch-Nemesis..."

**Author's Note:**

> Or, "Difficult Titles are Difficult" xD :)

It has been a quiet day in the Tri-state area. 

 

Far too quiet, in Perry’s opinion.

 

In fact, it has been a far too quiet week. An entire week without any dastardly evil plots being foiled. No backstories being explained over self-destruct buttons, no shrieks of “Curse you, Perry the Platypus!”. In fact,  _ nothing _ really seemed to be emanating from Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated for a whole five days.

 

(Perry had half a mind to check with Monogram on the whereabouts of Peter the Panda, but he's not that desperate yet.

 

But he was at the level of desperate that invoked randomly checking out Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated _,_ just to make sure something hadn't happened, of course _._ )

 

_._

 

When he busts into the place, it's quiet. Peaceful, even.

 

Frankly, it's that peace that brings the goosebumps because Doof doesn't do “peace”.

 

But, apparently, he does sit by his computer with an anticipatory and somewhat apprehensive smile glued to his face.

 

And that is something that isn't broken by Perry waving his hand repeatedly or by not so subtly poking him in the leg. Or breaking a few expendable gadgets. Or turning on Norm for a solid five minutes.

 

But, eventually, a caught-off-guard “Perry the Platypus? What are you doing here?” emits and a disbelieving face-palm occurs because it took _30 minutes_ for Heinz to finally notice.

 

_ Seriously?  _ He can only chatter in frustration, but the message gets across.

 

“What? I can't  _ always _ be  _ evil _ , Perry the Sarcasticpus-- no, that doesn't quite work, hold on a moment.”

 

But, Perry's not interested in holding on this time. He's more interested in what's gotten Doofenshmirtz’s attention for a whole week.

 

“What, you want to see what's on my computer? Well, you can't!” 

 

One irritated and knowing look later, 

 

“Alright, fiiinnneeee, Perry the Impatientpus, go ahead!”

 

And so he does.

 

The screen currently only contains Doof’s inbox, a sight not many can handle viewing -- if only for the sheer lack of disorganization.

 

One raised eyebrow later, “Oh, so you also want to know  _ why  _ I'm currently looking at my inbox and have been doing so for a week?”

 

_ Well… duh. _

 

“Well, too bad, because I'm not gonna tell you!” Heinz's certainly vehement about not revealing exactly what's up this time -- more so than normal.

 

Fortunately, Perry knows exactly what to do:

 

He tilts his head inquisitively and gives it about three seconds.

 

“Okay, okay!” And so Doof proceeds to explain that, no, it's not some -inator in disguise and, yes, he really hasn't spent a week plotting anything  _ evil  _ because he's been waiting to hear from Vanessa. As it turns out, she's supposed to hear back from her summer internships by today. And so he's been sitting here, waiting this whole week to receive an email from her.

 

(“Because that's what evil fathers do, Perry the Platypus, they support their children!”)

 

So, they sit in silence staring at the screen and wait. Perry decides to hang around for reasons he's not interested in figuring out just yet, and Doofenshmirtz just wants some answers.

 

But, even sworn nemeses can't be in a room without conversing at some point.

 

_ Nervous? _

 

“Of course I'm nervous!”

 

A glance over at the screen again.  _ First time? _

 

“Of course not, I've been nervous plenty of times! Don't you know this by now?”

 

A sigh. Followed quickly by another facepalm.

 

Which in turn sparks a realization.

 

“... What do you mean 'Do you think Vanessa might have sent you a text about this?’?”

**Author's Note:**

> So, what was the inspiration for today's piece?
> 
> “Nervous?”
> 
> “Yes.”
> 
> “First time?”
> 
> “No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.” -- Airplane  
>  
> 
> And what's our next quotation to work with?
> 
> “See? SHE thinks I’m funny.”
> 
> “Statistically, someone has to.” -- Teen Titans
> 
> Fandoms of choice:  
> Codename Kids Next Door  
> White Collar
> 
>    
>  **Now, on a different note** : I’ve put together a new prompt meme challenge called “Changing the Scenes”. It’s about -- you'll never guess ;) -- putting out prompts and writing up stuff you would have liked to have seen differently in _any_ fandom. 
> 
> Whether that’s requesting a “What if Doof and Perry had to switch roles?” or “What if Phineas/Ferb accidentally ended up helping Doof succeed?”, _anything is fair game ;D_
> 
> So, check it out if you’re interested and feel free to submit a few prompts!


End file.
